purely for fun, a bit of general advice but not medical advice...

Responsible Consumption of Alcohol Certificate

Here in Australia we ensure that everyone who sells and serves alcohol is properly trained and holds a “Responsible Service of Alcohol” certificate. Essentially this explains how to tell when a patron has had enough to drink, Duty of Care, how to best deal with patrons and enforce the law in regards to service of alcohol. It’s a positive step forward for everyone.

The big question is though- “Don’t patrons have a responsibility to consume alcohol responsibly?” The answer is indeed a loud “YES you do!” All too often stories make the news about people who have come to strife through excess drinking.

Here are a few things you need to remember when consuming alcohol. Before you mock and laugh (though feel free) ask yourself this question “Have I ever done something I would not wish to normally do when I was under the influence of alcohol?” A few  from the ages to refresh your alcohol induced memory-

1. Wake up next to a stranger/friend and shuddered?
2. Engaged in an argument/fight for ridiculous reasons?
3. Lost your keys/phone/purse or wallet/cash/ respect from friends?
4. Wake up in a strange place and not know how you got there? eg gutter or park.
5. Made inappropriate sexual advances on someone?

Believe it or not these irresponsible acts are not defined to the younger folk nor are they a new side effect of the swinging sixties. As long as alcohol has been around (about 5000 years!) there has been awkward and sometimes deadly side effects to it’s merriment. Janis Joplin, Jimmy Hendrix and Brian Jones all famous musicians died from complications related to alcohol at the age of 27 within one year between 1969-1970. Surely there should be a duty of care for the drinking person and now there is!

Your guidelines are outlined below but are not exhaustive, try and follow them to enjoy your alcohol as opposed to being led down a path of destruction.

1.      “Management Reserves the Right to Refuse Entry and Request Patrons to Leave the Premises at Any Time” Sound Familiar? If not you have already failed! Always show respect to security staff and bar staff. They are there to earn a living and help you enjoy your experience. They are sober and in control of all their faculties- if they give you instructions always follow them, it is for your own good. The story of the ‘nasty bouncer’ is tired and out dated- give it a rest!

2.      Never rely on your friends to look after you- they have to follow their own rules.

3.      Never drink more than 3 standard alcoholic beverages in any one hour period. Doctors will advise you on much less and you should follow their instructions- they know better than anyone else! Tell someone not to take illicit drugs outright and they overdose so perhaps some realistic, though not medical advice for the binge drinkers.

4.      Always drink a glass of water between drinks. Dehydration is a major contributor to the dreaded hangover. Alcohol dehydrates the fluid around your brain and also your entire body.

5.      Never drink alcohol on an empty stomach. Have a meal ideally but no more than two hours before you begin. This does not actually keep you any more sober than starving according to tests but it does help to stop your stomach lining rejecting being soaked in alcohol thus making you vomit. Having snacks or nibbles over the course of a drinking session also helps.

6.      Never leave drinks of any kind unattended or to be watched by anyone other than long-time trusted friends. If you are alone better to take your drink to the toilet, finish it first or throw it away and buy another. Drink spiking does happen, unfortunately more often than it should. Women are not necessarily the main targets either. Men get their drinks spiked just as often. Drink spiking usually has a motive though not always- date rape thought to be number one but also the evil element want to watch people falling down for a laugh, male or female, perhaps to single out the friends of their target. Sick and pathetic but humanity is diverse, they are out there. Drink spiking can cause serious problems as you don’t know you are about to blackout, what will happen or why you are feeling the way you are, causing panic before you collapse completely defenseless.

7.      Always carry photo ID on you; $10 you will not spend ever and enough money for a taxi home regardless of whether you intend to use public transport. Without identification and $10 you can be considered a vagrant and arrested by police the world over (though monetary limits differ). If your night turns sour (meaning you have failed the R.C.A. certificate) you may need fast safe access home via taxi.

8.      Never make life altering decisions or decisions that affect the next day on when under the influence of alcohol. It pays to be non-committal! Marriage proposals, signing contracts of any kind, quitting your job, getting a tattoo or piercing, deciding against contraception are all wrong moves. Reconsider when sober!

9.      Always cross the road at the lights or a pedestrian crossing but look both ways twice! When you are under the influence of alcohol you will think you are indestructible or simply may not think at all- cars, buses, trucks and motorbikes will prove you wrong every single time. ouchies!

10.  Never rely on the alcohol “breathalizer” machines located in pubs/clubs and toilets to stand up as evidence in court. They are there for entertainment value only and are in no way reflective of your legal blood alcohol content limit. Effects are different to everyone but responsible drivers will drink zero alcoholic beverages.

11.  Always get the taxi number when seeing off friends and put it in your phone or write it down in front of the driver. Instances of problems are very, very rare in Brisbane but by being responsible you will avert even those rare events.

12.  Always drink only water when burning energy and for at least 20 minutes after stoping (such as dancing or joining in physical activities). Drinking alcohol whilst burning off energy or sweating will result in rapid dehydration to the brain and body and will cause fainting or worse, shock in as little as ten minutes! Shock can be fatal- Raves and day long events have proven this point in the past.

13.  Never hold your expectations too high. When you are drinking you may have expectations about what you will do or what your goal is for that time frame. Whatever it is don’t dwell on it. Failing to meet your expectations when you are under the influence of alcohol can result in excessive mood reactions which cause more problems. Always go with the flow and stay calm and happy, if you cannot then time to retire this time out I’m afraid.

14.  Always change locations if you find you are becoming mildly irritated. A complete change of environment may help- try consulting the Brisbane Pub & Club Guide 2007 for alternatives. If you are becoming more than mildly irritated or agitated then time to retire this time out I’m afraid. Always walk away from an argument/confrontation and always report it to security staff if inside a venue making clear that you have done the right thing. If they ask you to leave this will be for your own safety- see point 1. Being the better person is not only the right thing to do every time but it will make you feel much better about yourself later as opposed to having scars, being locked in jail and having a criminal record which will hamper you at every turn in life.

15.  Always drink 2 pints or 1 litre of cool (not ice cold) water gradually before sleeping and after consuming alcohol. Sculling this much liquid (especially ice cold) is not good for your stomach- it will show you why by filling a bucket if you are quick enough to get one. There are many hangover cures in the form of drink additives sold at chemists and taking them before going to sleep is usually better than trying to force it down your unsettled and active stomach when you wake up- it also has more time to take effect.

16.  Never drive the day after drinking as the alcohol will still be in your system though you may not feel the effects at all. Your Alcohol Blood Content will have lessened but possibly not to the 0% level.

17. Never drink at home alone. Imbibing alcohol is for social occasions. If you find yourself drinking alone often you should consider the effect this is having on your personality and social activities. A good friend will let you know if alcohol is becoming a problem- listen to them and seek help.

The Next Day……

Ah, you failed to gain your RCA certificate? The dreaded hangover washes over your whole body and you swear you will never drink again? There is no one perfect hangover cure of this you can be absolutely certain. There are many establish legends that vie for this title so tread cautiously. Every person is different but here are the standard favourites from the ages-

1. Hair of the Dog- This quote is attributed in an apocryphal manner to Aristophanes dating back as far as 300 B.C.- “I wish I had a hair of the dog that bit me last night!” To simplify for those in a drunken, brain depleted stupor- to have a small portion of what harmed you will cure you. More likely to slow the bad feeling as opposed to going cold turkey. Dubious to say the least but if you wish to indulge the best “Hair of the Dog” cure is a Red Eye cocktail- 1 shot of vodka, glass of tomato juice, half teaspoon of Worcester sauce, one whole unbroken egg with a generous celery stalk for garnish. Remember not to drive for another 24 hours!
2. Light Exercise- The benefit of exercise is that you will sweat the alcohol out of your body faster. Remember that you should always drink plenty of water and never exercise vigorously or you risk dehydration or shock.
3. The Fry Up- A greasy breakfast such as sausages, bacon and eggs will help to fill your stomach and will soak up some of the alcohol.
4. Coffee- The caffeine will make you more alert and release endorphins to slightly numb your brain but this will not actually lower your blood alcohol content. The down side is that coffee is a dieretic and will dehydrate you even more...
5. Sleep- will only delay the inevitable. Get out of bed, dust yourself off and get active as early as possible!
6. Vitamin B- Vegemite is the worlds’ richest source of vitamin B they used to tell us. Vegemite on bread or toast will do you mountains of good. Vitamin B combats most of the side effects of a hangover by increasing metabolic activity and when taken in the form of Vegemite tastes good too! The bread will also soak up some of the alcohol in your stomach. Most hangover cures sold in chemists are based on Vitamin B and Guarana to give you the energy you have no doubt lost

So if you have been a good citizen and adhered to all 17 rules and haven't needed to resort to the 6 Hangover Tips then this one's on Jack......

rt to the 6 Hangover Tips then this one's on Jack......

Get Your Responsible Consumption of Alcohol Certificate

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