Ah Ha! So you think you’re invincible and you want to travel the world?

Fair go cobber! One of the greatest things anyone can do in life is experience other cultures on their home ground. Sure you can read books and see it all on the TV but unless you can say “Been there” when it comes on screen and tell a few witty stories about how you lost your luggage or met someone who changed your life then it just is not the same!

Watch your non-travelling friends give you that look- ‘smart ****’ but in reality you are just trying to share your joy and give them that extra urge to travel themselves. Why indeed you are being altruistic! Just try not to harp on all the time as most people, me included, find that annoying. Whip a good story into conversation when it fits the flow, be the life of the party.

Now then before you go anywhere you always check you have everything right? If you’re going to the beach you make sure you have sun screen, a towel, maybe a hat? Here are some things you probably never thought of and if you did then you are probably a seasoned traveller.

The way this list came into being? When a friend of mine decided to venture over to Europe to live for a year I started to think about what kind of weird (OH YEAH- WEIRD) things do I pack when travelling? Why do I pack them? How crazy am I? I came up with the list and a reassurance that I wasn’t crazy because, believe it or not Ripley, the weirder it sounds the more important it is on the road Jack Kerouac.

By all means read on and have a big riotous belly laugh but never underestimate the power of the plastic bag……….

The Laws of Travellers

a.k.a.

The “Always When Travelling List”

The Main Law of Travellers- NEVER SAY NEVER- Unless you find yourself in Las Vegas then NEVER say “I do”- Everything else goes!

Always carry the following things-

1. Have a bottle of drinking water handy at all times- even when sleeping.
2. Make sure your footwear is adequate for the journey ahead- always have a spare pair of shoes and 2 spare pairs of socks.
3. 4 plastic shopping bags- (one for dirty clothes, one for miscellaneous usage and 2 in case your shoes get wet- put them over your dry socks and still wear your shoes over them.)
4. A roll of toilet paper.
5. Lip balm.
6. Portable alarm clock.
7. A pencil, a pen and a pad of paper.
8. Medication- Paracetamol x 10; Cold and flu tablets- one box; “Lemsip” or equivalent x 5; any other prescription drug you require AND repeat prescriptions from your doctor. Always consult travel advice on legalities from your Foreign Affairs Dept. Aspirin is illegal in some countries!
9. Sunglasses.
10. Touk/Beanie/Wooly hat- whatever you want to call it for anywhere it MAY drop to 4°c OR a wide brim hat if travelling in climates ONLY above 4°c.
11. Sunscreen- highest possible rating.
12. Carry 2 condoms on your person at all times- do not leave them in your bags.
13. Have a map of where you WILL be going before you arrive there-study it.
14. Have a small amount of the currency of the region you WILL be travelling to before departing for that destination. (You can exchange currency at major international airports BUT commission is high and rates are poor. You may also find that the only cash terminal that accepts your card is not operating. If travelling “on the fly” it is not wise to have large amounts of currency in case you decide not to stay.)
15. Passport, tickets and Itinerary- if you hadn’t thought of this you best just stay home…
16. A printed version of this list!

Always do the following things-

1. Be wary of pickpockets EVERYWHERE- only a fool lets their guard down.
2. Conceal the bulk of your currency in 2 places on a 60/40% basis, have a small amount in your wallet on hand- (if you find you need to access more money in front of strangers you can then decide whether you need the 60% or the 40%- most travellers only ‘hide’ money in one place so if you show that you have spent your ‘special reserve’ a criminal is unlikely to bother with you.)
3. Take up the offer of a free bed for the night unless wary of danger.
4. Take showers whenever available; take a bath whenever available.
5. Especially when walking pay attention to where you have BEEN- note landmarks- tall buildings with distinguishable signage are best in cities- waterways, unusual trees and hills are best in rural areas.
6. Try local cuisine in the most authentic way possible.
7. Try the local alcohol with the local people BUT be wary of its strength.

Happy Travels from Jack of Hearts Entertainment!

You are a champion, You are unique and among the few, Visitor Number

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